The Freefall

How I Spent Seventeen

I spent seventeen lying down
Staring at the ceiling
And asking the heavens for answers

I spent seventeen with a camera in my hands
Keeping every thing I could of this ephermality
Scrambling to keep it all to myself before it all fades away

I spent seventeen in the space between sky and sea
Not knowing if I was flying or falling
But I saw and felt the golden warmth of the sun on my flesh
That I knew, and that I cherished

I spent seventeen screaming out
And I began to forget why
But my chest was on fire and my mouth was its chimney
And it healed me

I spent seventeen in high heels
Dancing in my best dress
Youthful and freed
A crowned queen

I spent seventeen grieving
The child I was is gone
But the person I was becoming lay in wait
No one I held dear knew them yet but I stood between
And I loved them

I spent seventeen
Looking back and looking forward all at once
I sat on a branch as my wings stretched,
The field above and the cocoon below,
Waiting,
Yearning,
Wondering,
Have they grown yet?
Shall I fly?

I spent seventeen lying down
Staring at the ceiling
And the heavens answered
"This is all but fleeting, child
Live short, but live well
Don't wait for wings
String them together with your hands and wax
Reach out for the stars, seize it
I love you."

I spent my seventeen well
And in a slumber it was all gone
All there was left
Was sky

I regret nothing, that was how I spent my seventeen.

Back